Struggling Father desirous to see his Son - 44

My Dearest Beta Shanu,

How are you beta? Did you have lots of sweets and chocolates on the eve of Ram Navmi? Today was the last day of fasting my dear son. Everyone goes thru the journey which he chooses. There are some folks who don’t chose but are chosen, looks like may be I am one of them. It’s strange and seems like only yesterday when I was filled up with desires, ambitions to conquer the world and the material associated with it. It was very hard work and extreme energy and I was steaming forward making inroads into the world of consulting. But today when I have not eaten or drank for nine days and have no material, I have understood it’s the conquest to conquer yourself i.e. your innerself as the outer is easy and have been conquered before several times historically. Son, there have been men before who have conquered the outer material the most popular and realistic being Alexander, but was not able to conquer his inner self. During this fasting I don’t know what I have gained spiritually but I have realized the hunger and the conquest of it. During these nine days of extreme fasting and meditation, I have seen the images calling me names, trying to break me, hurting me. I have seen myself as a small child running with my own grandfather in the farms of sugarcane, I have seen my father carrying me on his shoulders, I have seen my mother carrying me in her embraces waiting for my father to come in the evening from the balcony of the house to have supper, I have seen my brother and me playing hockey and kho-kho, I saw my history teacher advocating the importance of Mesopotamia and Indus, I saw me carrying your mother from the shower just before your birth to the hospital, I saw you being born and handed over to me, I saw myself crying when your conscious went in divine’s hand, I saw you walking for the first time into your grandfather’s embrace, I felt the muteness of your grandparents being asked to leave in front of images, I saw myself running on the street with you in my arms for hospital, I saw armed policemen abusing and forcing me out of the house, I saw you being taken from my arms by the police, I heard questions raising fingers on my ethics and integrity, I felt your small fingers separating from mine, I felts tears some my own, some my father’s, some my mother’s, some my cousin’s, some my sister’s, some my uncles, some my aunts; I felt the fear what will happen to you, I felt the vacuum of directionless, I felt the extreme desire to be united with you. Then I felt the misery of everyone the small child at railway station who cleans the passenger train, I felt the fingers and the agony of the woman begging at the street, I felt the helplessness of old man lying in front of the sewage, I felt the misery of the half naked insane searching his food in rotten garbage, I felt the sorrow of old parents who had dreams and left in old age home. I felt the coolness of the fire of aarti at the bank of Ganges; I felt the purity of river Ganga. I felt happiness in having nothing, I felt happiness in serving, I felt calmness in knowing that I’m not here to change people I can only show direction others have to evaluate and change themselves and chose their own path, I knew that truth always prevails, I knew that I have conquered fear, I knew that I will never be able to hate anyone, I know I will always love everyone, I know I will be at peace with my own innerself. My fast has ranged from initial enthusiasm of doing something which I have not done before in true sense. After 8 hours of meditation I felt the need to drink water, it was painful and there was desire to have food and then desire aggravated especially when you notice the environment the cows, birds, men, women, children eating and drinking. It was difficult but then I thought what are the stablest things I can notice in nature, I saw rocks, pebbles, trees, plants, grass some of them being pushed, stepped over but still absorb energy from nature. I attained satisfaction and peace. My fast went on for nine days. It’s strange that first two days I was not able to concentrate and today on the ninth day when I didn’t had food or water I felt freedom and have energy to walk and draft my thoughts. Everything is so peaceful and calm. The trick is son to live with nature, it helps to know what your basic needs are and then whatever else share with nature so that it can fulfill other beings. Few months before I would not have believed that a human can live without food, water and shelter, Today I’m amused at my ignorance. So son conquer yourself and you will conquest the globe but never the nature. Always conquer to enhance the bliss of yours and the beings of nature. Its upto us to play the game of life as we wish, but play with your ethics and integrity intact, never leave them because if you leave them you leave yourself, as I did when I was mute observer when your grandparents were insulted. Hate or ignore the insult but pity the insulter and cure them as they don’t know that they need treatment. Love them and love all as love will cure everyone and will bring all of them together. I have always believed that segregation is very easy and is always destructive in long run but unification brings peace and harmony. So you be my messenger and teacher both as I have learnt life and love from you. My dearest son you will bigger than anyone else ever stepped on this earth and you will still be humblest. Make your destiny as I have made mine, take no help but always offer help, always earn to give it to the needy not to the greedy, Always keep your needs to minimum as the nature has provided. Live with nature not against it. You will be the winner and you will win the soul not the body. May Lord be with you always and everywhere. May you conquer and control your breath and thus rise and rise and rise … to spread peace and improve humanity and thus nature.

Above were some of the practices of experiences of fasting and meditation. Now below is the story of the day for you my beta. Enjoy the story:

{
Once upon a time there lived a dog. He was big and strong and had a very loud bark. The dog was very proud of his size and strength and was always trying to prove to everyone what a fierce dog he was. The dog was owned by the village blacksmith. At first the blacksmith was very proud of the dog. He thought with the dog like that his property and family will be very safe.

But as the days went by, the dog became even more proud and arrogant. He would sometimes even growl at the blacksmith. But even then the blacksmith just laughed it away and did nothing about it. Then one day the dog chased the village headman’s little daughter barking very loudly. The poor girl got the fright of her life and ran for her life.

When the headman heard of this he called the blacksmith and said, “You can’t have the dog like this running free. He is a menace.” The blacksmith had no choice. He fastened a big chain to the heavy log of the wood and fastened the other end of the chain to the dog’s collar. Now the dog couldn’t run fast enough to scare everyone as he had to drag the heavy log with him.

But the dog was very foolish. He thought that it was a grand thing to go around dragging a log of wood. So he took great pride in doing so, making sure that everyone noticed him. Then one day, a wise old dog went upto him and said, “You are a making a fool out of yourself. It was not to honor you that the log was tied to you, but because you have been behaving awfully. At least now, realize your folly and change from your foolish and vainglorious ways.”
}

It looks strange and initially I was also amazed but looks like your thought and your image lives and moves with me, its like that you have occupied and unified my breath and innerself. I’m with you as you are with me. May you always be happy and smile never leave your face.

Om!

Regards
Ravinder Pal Singh